Am I just a mother?
Updated: Jun 8, 2018
We women do so many hats isn’t it … mother, daughter, sister, soul-mate, best-friend and more…
Mother’s day is over and I am sure we all were pampered by our families and celebrated mothers day with gusto. That makes me wonder that have we just reduced to the title “ mom”?
It’s easy to get so engrossed in Motherhood that our other relationships begin to suffer. It’s not intentional, but we moms barely get time to take a shower, let alone return phone calls or make friendly visits. Its normal, isn’t it? The guilt seeps slowly and eventually we stop feeling guilty too so much so that on top of being completely overwhelmed with a thousand things to do around the house and with the children, we now have shame resting comfortably on our shoulders for isolating our loved ones.
So how do we overcome this and start reviving our identity without going crazy in the process? There are few tips that I followed to get my sanity back :-
Turn to your friends and family : As busy mom our lives are always hanging in thread. There will be times in your life when you may grow anxious or depressed with the sudden changes in our world and feel unappreciated. This is the ideal opportunity to turn to our family and circle of friends because, 9 times out of 10, they‘ve been there, understand, and may even have some helpful tools to get you through it. You surely didn’t enter this world solo, and as a Mom you don’t have to wear yourself out trying to do everything by yourself.
Make schedules smartly : Moms often feel the responsibility of taking on the entire family agenda. By the time a friend or family member extends an invitation to do something fun you are completely exhausted and don’t have the time. Try planning activities and trips for your family that you can do in conjunction with others. Collaborate with your girlfriends about the children’s extra-curricular activities so you can hang out while they’re occupied. Arrange your hair appointments and weekend shopping so you get to spend time with your sister/ friend Schedule an early bedtime once a week so you and your husband can spend some quality time alone. And no matter how busy you get, make sure you find 30 seconds to ask your spouse about their day and say “I Love You”.
Thank god for Technology ! yes it is a boon too as it is on mom's side. Whenever you feel lonely or out of touch, just send messages to your loved ones, share pictures and be connected. om’s side. A relaxing call or a chat gives the much-needed break in the busy day.
Focus on yourself : It’s easy to forget the things that make Moms feel happy and complete when their focus is on everyone else. There is something that I do that I keep writing things that make me feel happy. Try it. It's quite satisfying. Writing is an outlet for me and I write even while working full time because I enjoy sharing my experiences. I also add few activities that I would love to experience. This keeps me going and I actually look forward to the small milestones that I achieve other than my role of being a mom
Communicate : The key factor in making time for the important people in your life is to be able to effectively communicate your needs and desires. If taking care of the children is holding you back, speak up and ask a family member or friend for help. The people who love you will want to assist you in some way. Avoid asking the same people for help repeatedly. Tap into your entire support system so you don’t take advantage of one person’s kindness and willingness to assist
Reaffirmation : Now, look in the mirror and affirm, “I am more than a mother. I am a sister, lover, daughter, and friend. Yes, I was born as a nurturer, naturally, but I have qualities that surpass social function and stigmas. I have a purpose to thrive creatively and spiritually without limitations and barriers. I am destined for greatness and I accept and welcome the positive support from my girlfriends, family, community, and soul-mate.” And celebrate the fact that you are more than a Mother and you are proud of each and every title you hold in the lives of those you love.
The key factor in making time for the important people in your life is to be able to effectively communicate your needs and desires. If taking care of the children is holding you back, speak up and ask a family member or friend for help. The people who love you will want to assist you in some way. Avoid asking the same people for help repeatedly. Tap into your entire support system so you don’t take advantage of one person’s kindness and willingness to assist.