Does your relationship suffer post baby?
Updated: May 13, 2018
It’s a very sensitive topic and often ignored coz when we talk about babies we envision everything rosy about family being complete and relationship looking peachy with joyful parents posing with mush balls.
Reality check folks ... most of the couples and marriages do get into trouble post having a baby.The rosy romance that you pictured of serene environment of baby sleeping and you two lovingly and longingly looking at the baby goes trough the roof when you are surrounded by dirty diapers, sleepless nights and harmonal fluctuations !!!
Yes! the babyblues are normal and that doesn’t mean that all is wrong! What I have realised that as a newborn needs round the clock attention, there is also a need to work on your marriage post baby as the relationship between the spouse change! .
So how to guard your relationship post baby ??? I am listing some of the stuff that worked for me... .
One is to adjust your expectations:
Life is now different for you and it won’t be the same again . It won’t b bad but it ll b just different! So very imp to accept the truth and adjust your expectations. .
Second Communicate - Communicate: Communicate ..... you may start disliking your husband and his ability to go out even though it’s office while you are stuck the whole day feeding and changing the baby! Lady u may b having postpartum mood swings which the poor chap may or may not be ready for and this would result in lots of arguments and crying sessions 🤦🏻♀️ 💞The best way to deal with this is to communicate your feelings to him and lay your cards all out. Talking openly how crappy you feel or you hate him these days can def make you feel better and opens up avenues for your spouse to understand u and act accordingly .
Showcase your love - physical intimacy may not be on your mind but a simple hug or snuggling to your partner goes a long way in rekindling your romance .
Be on the same page of parenting - trust me you and your partner will have issues wrt parenting or handling the baby! Try to be on the same page of parenting and this can only happen when you communicate openly with each other so that you are not arguing with each other on the right practices to follow for the baby!
Don’t ignore your social life - Yes the baby takes up all your time and you would feel guilty if u leave your fur ball behind but for your own sanity go out and mingle with adults and have adult conversations or go on date nights. Make a ritual of going out Once a week with your partner . This much needed outing would really go a long way to build a happy family! .
It sounds petty but ladies do not ignore your self and your physical attributes... your body has undergone changes and you may b hating your current body right now. But instead of feeling crappy about it, dress up, do make up, lose weight , shop for flirty clothes ... indulge in stuff that makes you feel attractive . Taking care of yourself means you value yourself and that’s the best gift you can give to yourself and to your spouse
Take help whenever offered - it takes a village to raise a baby and its true. While the motherly instincts do not let you leave the baby with anyone , it would be a good idea to take some help whenever u feel u r losing out. However plz align the help with your parenting style else it can create unnecessary ruckus.
Give compliments or appreciate the Lil things that your spouse does for you - chances are that your spouse is also struggling to come in terms with the changes in his life post baby and he doesn’t kno how and what to react or do... so shower compliments, appreciate the Lil things that he does during the day so that you can sleep an extra hour may be! .
Embrace this change as a couple to strengthen the foundation of the relationship i.e you and him!