Motherhood & Beyond

The Spunky Mom

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BULLYING


I'm sure many of u must hv come across the viral video of an Australian boy who was a victim of Bullying. When I saw that I was very disturbed, n I thought, this is something that needs to be addressed more often. So I decided to make a 2-part series on my page spreading awareness about this sensitive topic : BULLYING.

PART 1:

U know that first minute when you’re looking at ur newborn bleary eyed & vow that nobody will dare mess with your child, because then they’ll have to mess with you?

Then u send ur lil one to school. With strangers. Adults & children you don’t know, & u hope n pray they’ll take care of ur child like d treasure he is.


Imagine one day, your little one comes home with a teary face. “Someone hurt me". Bullying is a more serious concern than other dangers now a days. And if u look it up, you'll notice the stats regarding bullying is increasing every day. The only way we can change this is if we get involved. If you & I n all of us take action, we can stop bullying.


Here's what to focus on:- ● Understand what's Bullying- Bullying is a form of emotional or physical abuse dat is Deliberate & Repeated. There are different types of bullying like Physical, Verbal, Relational and Cyberbullying. ● Know the Signs-

Ur child could be a victim of bullying if he/she: ▪︎ Is reluctant or refuses to go to school or clamps up wen u discuss abt school ▪︎ Demands some sort of change in a long-standing routine.

▪︎Performance in school (grades, homework, attendance) suddenly declines

▪︎Acts sullen, angry, n frequently wants to be left alone

▪︎Uncharacteristically uses bad language. ●What if your child is the bully? Although u don’t want to see ur child acting mean, it is important to knw d signs dat ur child may be bullying:

▪︎Lack of empathy

▪︎Needs to be in control

▪︎Underdeveloped social & interpersonal skills

▪︎Seems to derive pleasure from pain n suffering of others

▪︎Attacks before others can attack

▪︎Frequently teases or taunts other children ■Talk about Bullying- its not something only u shld know abt but also ur child before he/she confronts it. ■Model Positive Parenting- make sure your lil grow in loving & safe environment.


BULLYING PART 2: Role as a Parent

Coach Your Child to Handle Teasing and Bullying

Roleplay with your child is a great way to prepare them to stand up to a bully. Knowing your child well can help you decide how to best do this. Point out to your child that the bully wants to provoke a response that makes him feel powerful, so showing emotion and fighting back are exactly what the bully feeds off. Explain that he can always control his own response. How s/he responds may exaggerate the situation or defuse it. Practice until your child is confident in handling difficult situations.


The best strategy is always to respond evenly and firmly, maintaining the dignity of all children involved. Prepare your child with simple phrases that are direct and not antagonistic: “You know, I’m just going to ignore that comment.” “Don’t do that.” “No.” “Well, that’s what you think.” Then walk away.


Teach your child to act brave, look the bully in the eye, and say one of these things. Practice until your child has a strong, self-assured tone.


Ignore it. Bullies love it when their teasing upsets their victims, so help your child find a way to not let his tormentor get to him. Children offer these kid-tested ways to ignore teasers: “Pretend they’re invisible,” “Walk away without looking at them,” “Quickly look at something else and laugh,” and “Look completely uninterested.” If your child is being bullied: •Assure the child that you believe them and that they are not alone with this problem.

•Affirm that this is not their fault.

•Establish that there are things that you can do and develop a plan.

•Report the bullying to school personnel.

•Take action when your child says bullied. Work as a team. Assess immediate safety, demand action, get involved, and stay on top of it.


When Your Child is the Bully •Talk to your child about what happened.

•Show your child what they have done is wrong.

•Give your child ownership of the problem. No “if only”s, blame shifting or excuses.

•Help your child find a way of solving the problem that he created.

•Nurture empathy.

•Teach friendship skills.

•Engage in entertaining, energizing and constructive activities.

• Closely monitor technology.

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